I have been described as a veteran of the Rivers Ride. Mind you, despite being a spritely 45 I am constantly described as a veteran of everything. The paper round I had as a young man on the top of Shap means that I have the gnarled complexion of an octogenarian hill farmer. When you couple this with blood pressure I have a face so ruddy that if I stop to catch my breath cars will sometimes stop at dusk thinking my head has gone from amber to red.

I am always one of the first to sign up to this great day’s cycling for a good cause. However, even the finely tuned body of an athlete can sometimes go wrong. Despite the many hours spent in my electric recliner contemplating how much exercise I should do I managed to end up with sciatica and a nipped nerve in my neck. On doctor’s orders I had to pull out of the 2014 Rivers Ride. The cycling world gasped in horror as the man who had come last in all of the Rivers Ride to date finally admitted defeat. The (admittedly) niche cycling magazine for Plus Size men ‘Cycling Meekly’ did a feature on whether it was the end of my career and I fell into a meat and tatie pie-filled despair. My lycra sponsorship from Jacamo wasn’t renewed and a very lucrative deal as the face of chubbylove.com (a sister website of uniformdating.com) was terminated.

However, like a phoenix from the ashes I rose majestically from my lethargy and after twenty sessions of physiotherapy and acupuncture I can now put my own socks on.

Now fully unfit, I looked longingly at my bicycle hanging from the garage ceiling like a mechanical bat, waiting to unfurl its wheels and ride off into the sunset. Then I left it there for another year. Until the call. Andy Beeforth OBE was on the phone using his Jedi Mind Tricks on me once again. Previously this technique had seen me towing a beer barrel around Derwentwater, hiking up to Stickle Tarn to sleep under the stars in a carrier bag or floating on a four poster bed on Lake Windermere. This time it was to see what was quicker – pedal power or paddle power.  I would cycle from the shore of Derwentwater and Andy would paddle down the Derwent in a poor man’s version of a Top Gear Challenge .

Tune in next time to see if I made it – well I know you know I did because I’m writing this – but humour me – I’ve been on a creative writing course at the Carlisle Royal Academy of Prose (CRAP) and I’m leaving you with a cliffhanger

Welcome back my riding chums.

I can now sympathise with how a pin cushion feels following my further scan and biopsy on the 22nd – it was only nine times! We are now in the waiting phase and hopefully within the next two weeks I should know what drugs the NHS will be providing to boost my cycling performance. Will there be any random drugs testing in Fitz Park, I wonder?

I can report that momentum is growing within the Psyclopaths camp, we have a further 5 signed up under the team banner. Baby Psyclo Chris has returned and this time brought with him his lovely partner and my ex colleague Psyclo Lozza – she being the reason behind the World Prosecco shortage! They have already started training and Lozza has managed a hill – significant progress from last year moan fest around the Preston Guild Wheel and it will be interesting if she maintains the colour coordination of yellow jersey and yellow cycle!

It’s also a big welcome back to the Budding Musician Psyclo. Come on, you remember John Morris the NSG MD and “he who must be obeyed”. It’s almost like the Blues Brothers “we’re getting the team back together”!!

We also welcome newcomers, Psyclos Tony and Alistair (NSG Project Manager and Engineer) to the fold but both are undecided as to which bike to use (mountain or road) – answers on postcards please. One with two wheels preferably but I’m sure someone would rise to the challenge of a unicycle!

For those of my loyal chums who are inclined to do so, I have set up a Just Giving page at https://www.justgiving.com/Nig-Lowe/

My charity is the Derian House Children’s Hospice in Chorley, an extremely  worthy cause that both I, on a personal level, and NSG Environmental, have long supported. The kids there are in a far worse position than we are and as such deserve our full support.

Just before I sign off, I want to thank Andy Beeforth and his team at the foundation for their kind words of support and also send a quick note to our main sponsor, Jennings – I’ll bring my own pint pot!!

You know that wise man? he’s been at it again,

“I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it!

For now…

Hello again my loyal cycling friends.

Those of you who have been with me since the beginning will have hopefully come to appreciate the lighthearted, whimsical and sometimes sarcastic nature of my prose. So I thought for 2015 I would continue in the same vein, however sometimes events conspire against us. Since the publication of the first 2015 NSG Psyclopaths blog on 8th June, a fresh a new challenge has been presented to yours truly.

On 10th June 2015 I was diagnosed with Lymphoma!

So my faithful chums it’s time to get serious.

I decided that I wanted to share not only my preparations for the Rivers Ride but also the journey that I am about to embark upon in the form of whatever treatment our glorious NHS are going to throw my way. The Foundation kindly agreed to my request and so the challenging journey begins here.

When given the news it doesn’t sink in at first. It’s only when you begin to think about the effects on not just yourself but also your family, friends and colleagues, that reality starts to bite and the emotional roller-coaster picks up speed. To try to come to terms with the news I did what any self respecting Rivers Rider would do and that was to get on the bike and do a 42 mile round trip to Southport. In hindsight it wasn’t such a good idea as trying to see where you are going through the floods of tears proved tricky to say the least. Perhaps I’ll just stick to hill climbs in the coming weeks which will give me another reason to cry!

I’ll know more as to what treatment will be coming my way following another CT scan and biopsy on the 22nd June. In the meantime the cycling preparations will continue and despite whatever physical and mental condition I will be in, I am determined to be in Fitz Park on Sunday 27th September clad in lycra.

Last year I did the Community Circuit in just over three hours and I challenged myself then to break the three hour mark next time. However to get round at all this year could be an even greater challenge, so come and join me in having a go – it’ll be a blast, especially if our friends at Jennings bring those bigger glasses!!

Right, enough of the serious stuff! Having checked the entry list for the various rides there doesn’t appear to be much commitment from the original Psyclopaths or indeed the lesser know NSGeese, perhaps the memory of the lovely Whinlatter is just giving them pause for thought or in the case of Rust Bucket Rudd, the bike has seized up! But your excuses are falling on deaf ears my fellow Psyclos, come on, get signed up!

So until the next time I’ll leave you with the thoughts of that wise old man I know;

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at a time of challenge and controversy.”

Illigitimi Non Carborundum!

Is it really a year, a whole 12 months, 52 weeks, 365 days, etc, etc….., since our last date, how you must have missed me!

So, my cycling chums, what have you all been up to since you gave your all to the cause last May? Have you been keeping the faith in the saddle or have you let slip last years convictions to keep at it? Did your New Years resolutions include getting the bike out from under all that accumulated rubbish in your garage?

Well my friends it’s that time again, to get the bike serviced (or in the case of Rust Bucket Rudd – get it shotblasted to remove the rust!), to dig out the lycra, to shave those legs (really??).

It’s Rivers Ride 2015!!

The good news is that the NSG Psyclos will be back! Hoorah I hear you cry, whether the team will contain the original magnificent athletes from 2014 remains to be seen. Sign up has been slow but now we are up and running (or cycling if you prefer) I am convinced that there will be a rush from the 2014 alumni.

The call to arms has been raised within the NSG camp, you may remember the other NSG team?  – those honking NSGeese, maybe not, but just like the Premier League and the Championship there may be some promotions and relegations within the teams. We’ll have to wait and see.

“What about your training” I hear you all yell, well as you’d expect my chums, I’ve not been idle when it comes to the Velo. The hills of Rivington, Belmont and Anglezarke have continued to provide the hill climbs whilst the roads to Blackpool and Southport provide the distance.

2014 Summer holidays provided a significant milestone, The Darling Wife actually cycled up a hill in Northern Brittany without stalling and falling off. I take the credit as it was my encouragement that provided her with the boost she needed, however the lack of communication throughout the remainder of the holiday was a tad unjust, I thought!!! Still, she’s now talking to me again, even if it is only in words of one syllable. She’ll come round I’m sure.

Anyway enough of this domestic waffle, back to the ride.

It’s great to see Jennings back as the main sponsor but please can they bring bigger glasses this year. It’s very hard to restore ones lost fluids with such small measures!!!

So let’s get up and at it, give those justgiving pages and sponsorship forms a dust off, oh, and do you remember that wise man I know?  He said recently “Instead of giving reasons why I can’t, I give myself reasons why I can”

Welcome back!!

Day 1: 28th May 2015.  Weight: 19st 1lb.  Weather: Overcast, windy but a hint of sun

Yesterday I received an unexpected phone call.  “Hello is that Councillor Davis-Johnston?  It’s Glenys Kett here from Cumbria Community Foundation.”  My first official call as a newly elected councillor is from Cumbria Community Foundation, I wonder what they want!?  “Have you heard of the Rivers Ride 2015?  We were wondering whether you would like to take part?”

I am Adrian, I’m a 32 year old father of one with an arthritic spine, borderline obesity and a penchant for all things Bryson’s who tends to avoid organised torture events for charity.  I am also passionate about my community and have a great admiration of the work that Cumbria Community Foundation does.  My answer to Glenys’ question was an immediate “Yes of course” followed by a “how long is the bike ride?”  The answer; 35, 55 or 75 miles.

Now I have many years ago done a long distance bike ride, but this was pretty flat, was over 3 days and I was probably about 2 stone lighter.  With all these considerations taken into account, I have decided to plumb for the 55 mile challenge and have also roped in some great support from my Dad, Paul, who is also going to do the challenge with me.  My new year’s resolution was to lose weight and get fit, and on the 1st January 2015 I was 20 stone and quickly lost two stone.  Since then I have put on another stone, so this challenge is a great way to refocus my efforts onto my overall aim.  Interestingly, the route of the Rivers Ride will take in most of my Allerdale Borough Council ward of Derwent Valley and I look forward to getting to know the roads intimately on my bike.  As you can see from the photo, when I was leafleting the ward in the election, the hills took it out of me, I hope wheeled transport will be a help!!

My primary motivation however is to support the work of Cumbria Community Foundation.   I can remember vividly how the Foundation has supported our county in times of hardship and need from the Foot and Mouth Crisis to the 2009 Cumbrian Floods which this bike ride commemorates, but for me it’s the day-to-day work of the Foundation that is the most inspiring, working with people of our county that need support, from young people to old people, from a variety of backgrounds.  The work the Foundation does is inspiring, it isn’t just a body that hands out money, it is an organisation that epitomises Cumbrian culture – we look after each other and we look out for each other.  I am proud to be a Cumbrian and I am proud to support the Foundation by putting in a little bit of work and getting my fat bum off the sofa and on the bike.  I hope people will be equally inspired to join in or to sponsor me at www.justgiving.com/adrian-davis-johnston

After putting my name squarely in the frame I now have a bit of a plan to get myself motivated and get myself fundraising, but before all that there is one essential item of equipment I need – a bike!!

Wish me luck!

And so it came to pass Dear Readers, as the early morning clouds drifted serenely over the mighty rolling fells of Latrigg, Blencathra (how much???) and Cat Bells, parting slowly to let the morning sunshine peak through and to reveal the azure blue sky. The sounds of chains against gears and the clipping of shoes against pedals joined with the gentle murmurings of lycra clad people of all ages congregating on the lush green pastures of Fitz Park.

Yes my cycling chums, the day had finally dawned – the Rivers Ride was finally upon us!

The scene was one of organised chaos as team members searched for colleagues in matching lycra, the whirlwind that was Nicola Howells and the other volunteers guiding and coaxing the willing riders to the start line.

The mood was one of high excitement tinged with trepidation at the challenges that lay ahead. Anticipation was high in the Pscyclos camp despite the harbinger of doom and failed weatherman of the team, James Rudd. So convinced was he that thunder and lightening was imminent that he equipped himself with the most efficient earthing tool – his bike!

As our start time approached, the Pscyclos, resplendent in our team colours, joined the tail of the snaking queue. Soon we were in the starting corral with a firm but friendly marshal issuing much needed guidance about which pastel shade of arrow to follow.

And then we were off, along the gently rolling byways alongside Bassenthwaite lake. Soon we were careering through the throbbing metropolis of Cockermouth, cheered on by the cowbell wielding locals (Pscyclo Su’s Mum and Dad). The gently rolling lanes up to Lorton belied the challenge that lay ahead. Nobody told me there was another route up Whinlatter!! This one tested our lung capacity to the maximum and then to place a photographer at the top who wanted you to smile!!! All I could manage was a weary wheeze.

With the climb conquered and the sun on our backs we began the decent, the feeling of the wind through your hair (those of us who have any) was exhilarating especially as we thought the worst was over, but then the winding incline at the foot of Catbells loomed large, but the views across Derwent Water were magnificent, if a little blurred through the cascading beads of perspiration. And so we reached the home stretch from the southern tip of Derwent Water, the legs coursing with renewed energy at the thought of the nearing finish line. It was time for the elite Pscyclos to surge forward. The baby Pscyclo’s youthful vigour thrust him forward and was matched by Andy Watson in a race to break the three hour target. Pscyclo Su and Yours Truly crossing the line just seconds apart. We were soon followed in by Rust Bucket Rudd and the budding musician Pscyclo. A splendid team effort and luck would have it, Jennings had kindly erected their tent next to the NSG tent so it was only a short walk to assist them in emptying the barrel of their finest ale.

And so to the many thanks that made our first experience of the Rivers Ride such a blast:

– My fellow Psyclos – Su, John, Andy, Chris, James, well done, a great team effort, but we were never going to cross the line together were we!!!

– The NSGeese – at least you have now got a target for next year!!!

– The organisers and the multitude of volunteers – we literally couldn’t have done it with out you.

– Finally to you dear readers, for sticking with the ramblings of a middle aged born again Pscyclist. I think we have bonded, our ten month relationship has, I feel, grown into something special, something to treasure and to hold onto either that, or you are just glad its all over and I will finally shut up!! 

So I toast you all and wish you well in your training for next year – SEE YOU ALL THEN!!

Hello again dear readers. Nice to know you have remained loyal during my golfing sojourn to Turkey. I can assure you that cycling was never far from my thoughts as I strode down the lush green fairways and partook liberally of the free beverages. Suffice to say that a few kilometres were ridden in the surroundings of the luxurious spa and leisure complex.

By now my celebrity status amongst the Cumbrian Cognoscenti must be reaching stratospheric proportions following the much publicised photo shoot with my fellow literary giants, The Rivers Ride Bloggers. No doubt the publication of the story in the bastion of journalistic integrity – The Keswick Reminder, will have cemented our celebrity status. Funny how the Nationals haven’t been in contact yet though!!

Well then fellow riders, are we all getting excited with just over a week to go? I was so excited I had to go and spend a ridiculous amount of money on a new bike. Still, it is on interest free credit, but when the Darling Wife discovers how much I’ve spent no doubt she will demand parity and spend the same on shoes and handbags!!

And so the day fast approaches with final preparations and last minute training schedules being completed. Reports from various Psyclos are giving me the confidence that not only will we stand out as finely honed athletes, but will also be the best looking team, resplendent in our new team jerseys!

It was also good to see the baby Psyclo putting in some belated training as he sped past my house and up into the hills of Anglezarke and Rivington. Whilst he was doing that I was up and around the back roads of Brindle and Wheelton, passing along the way, the burnt out shell of a much loved local drinking den, The Dressers Arms. Lets hope she rises from the ashes and we can once again enjoy a few gills of Big Franks best bitter.

Other more worrying news from the Psyclos is that newbie Psyclo James Rudd is struggling to maintain his position in the saddle having fallen off twice during an easy ride over the North York moors. The members of the other lesser known NSG team, the NSGeese, are experiencing similar problems. Perhaps they are oiling the wrong parts of their bikes!!

And so my friends, I will leave you to your preparations, to oil those gears, to grease those cogs and to liberally apply the ointments.

I hope you will all take time out to come and see us at the NSG tent in Fitz park, you might even get to meet a local celebrity!!!

So lets hope the good old British summer can come up trumps and give us the wind at our backs and the sunshine all weekend.

As a wise old friend once said to me “I don’t know if it’s illegal to be handsome and ride a bike at the same time but whatever, I live dangerously”

So be handsome and live dangerously my chums!

Hello again dear readers, you know they always say that you should build up to a big event slowly, let the legs and lungs get acclimatised to a bit of exertion. Well I thought I’d done all that over the past few months, so when a “friend” said she was doing the Coast to Coast from Whitehaven to Tynemouth I jumped on the bandwagon. The trouble is that a piece of paper (map) or computer screen doesn’t really convey the enormity of some of the inclines along the route. Those of you who have had a go at the C2C will recognise Whinlatter, Hartside, Garrigill, Allenheads and Stanhope. All lung bursting climbs that somehow always felt much longer than the short descents that followed! It’s definitely not a route for the fainthearted, or indeed those that haven’t prepared, as it turned out when the originator of the idea jacked in on day 2 when she was in danger of being overtaken by a jogger and she couldn’t stand the pain in her nether regions!!

Although I didn’t finish the full C2C – who wants to trudge through the flat industrial landscape of Tyneside – we did complete 36 miles on day 1, 46 miles on day 2 and 32 on day 3. For those of you into calorie counting that was approximately 7000 calories (it’s amazing what technology can tell you these days). I don’t know where they’ve gone because my waist is still the same size!!

Anyway enough of the serious cycling chat, now that Whinlatter has been conquered what left is there to fear, 38 miles around the highways and byways of Cumbria, a piece of cake – or a large 99 overlooking Bassenthwaite on the way down Whinlatter.

But what of the other Psyclos I hear you cry……..

Whilst I was coughing and wheezing through Cumbria, Northumberland and County Durham, some fellow Psyclos were out and about on their two wheels, budding musician (come on you remember)…….. John Morris was tackling some of the highways and byways around Keswick, 32 miles allegedly. Newbie Psyclo James Rudd did most of the Preston Guild Wheel, strangely missing out the hills (Those familiar to the guild wheel will be thinking what hills?? – exactly!). Disturbingly the other Psyclos have gone silent, perhaps indulging to much in those Easter goodies!!

So there you have it dear readers, a little bit of light training before the main event, we might even slip in another Preston Guild Wheel!

As a wise man once said “if you don’t get a sweat on, it’s not worth botherin'”

Up and at ’em chums.